It's Written in the Wind
by Satan-wears-prada
Summary: Hope appears back in Maura's life and causes problem between her and Jane.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, I thought I would attempt a chaptered story for Rizzles. This is only five chapters long, I need to build myself up to longer stories. It's been a while since I've written along. I hope you all enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing. A big thanks to Heather for letting me bounce ideas off of her :)

Enjoy!

* * *

Maura pursed her lips together as she looked between the two magazines that lay open before her and tried to decide which tablecloths would look better with the theme she had chosen. Although, she was no longer sure that was the final theme she wanted. It all had to be perfect. Every last detail. She also wanted it to reflect the both of them; that's why she had Angela helping to plan everything. Maura sat alone in making her decision due to the fact that Angela was working her shift at the café. The blonde slid a bookmark into each page of the two magazines and made a mental note to ask Angela's opinion when she got home that night.

The sound of the doorbell echoing throughout the house pulled Maura back to the present and off the idea of colours and tablecloths. Jo Friday began to bark and ran towards the large window in the living room. Maura hushed the dog before she made her way down the hallway to the source of the sound. She could see the outline of the figure the other side of the door but she was unable to place her on finger on who exactly it was.

"Hello, Maura." The figure smiled softly as Maura opened the door.

Maura gasped. "Hope," she whispered, her clutch on the front door tightening with each passing second. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to see you. It's been a while. I think we should talk. May I come in?" Hope gestured with a hand towards Maura's hallway. She kept her lips in a soft smile in the hopes of keeping Maura calm and at ease. She knew there was a very big chance she would be refused right away but there was also the chance that Maura would listen. Hope held her breath as she waited for Maura's reply.

The younger woman had found her voice had left her. Her throat was dry. Her whole body was tense at seeing Hope again after a year and a half. Their last encounter had not been a pleasant one with Hope denying that Maura was in fact her daughter she had spent her life believing was dead. Neither woman wanted to relive that memory. Maura finally gave a small nod and stood back to let the older woman inside.

"You've redecorated," Hope mused as she made her way down the short hallway and into the living room. Maura gave a quiet nod as she followed and hung back at the threshold of the room, her fingers nervously twitching together. "Oh, and you have a dog." The older blonde bent down to tickle Jo Friday under the chin who instantly rolled onto her back, subdued.

"She's Jane's dog," Maura spoke quietly and let her gaze wander to the dog who was enjoying her tickle. "Can I get you something to drink? Tea? Coffee? Juice?" Even if she wasn't particularly pleased to have Hope in her home she wasn't going to forget to be a polite host.

"Juice, thank you." Hope smiled and straightened herself up as Maura turned to the kitchen. The younger woman was glad to have something to keep her hands busy, rather than twitch them nervously.

While Hope waited for her drink, the magazines on the coffee table caught her eye and she stepped closer, looking intently. "You're getting married?" She straightened once again and looked over at Maura who smiled warmly at the mention, love glistening in her eyes.

"I am." Maura nodded and handed Hope her glass of juice. "In six months' time."

"I wasn't aware you were involved with someone." She accepted her drink and took a small sip before she glanced around the room trying to catch a glimpse of the guy who had stolen her first born's heart.

"It happened a few months after we stopped talking. Please, sit." Maura motioned towards the chair as she sat down on her couch. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yes." The older woman nodded and placed her glass down on a coaster on the table in front of her. "I've had a lot of time to think since you told me who you are." She paused and looked at Maura who stayed quiet, letting the older woman carry on. "I've come to realise that how I acted was wrong but you must understand how painful it was for me to hear that the daughter I have mourned for all these years has been alive. You have no idea how I always wished that they had gotten it wrong and that you were still alive but to actually hear those words…" Hope trailed off and took a deep breath as she glanced down at her hands that were wrung tightly together. She could feel the pain squeezing at her heart again. She still found it hard to believe that Maura was alive and sitting across from her.

"I had one daughter who was terribly ill and another that had arisen from the grave." Hope gave a small laugh and looked up at Maura. "You have to see it from my point of view, Maura. There was so much going on in my life that I just couldn't handle it. I had been told that a devastating fact that I had spent most of my life believing was a total life. In a way I had been living a lie."

"You had Caelyn," Maura stated. "You still had a daughter."

"I know I had Caelyn but there has still always been a hole in my heart. The only person who could fill that hole is you. That part of me died with you. If I had known you were alive, Maura, I would have searched for you. You have to believe that." She reached out for her daughter's hands and held on tightly. Slowly, Maura let her gaze wander down to the older woman's hands clutching at her own before back at Hope's face. She had waited to meet her birth mother for so many years. She had dreamt up numerous scenarios in her head but not once had she imagined this. This is something she had wanted for so long so why did she want to push it all away?

Maura gave a small sigh before she let her gaze back up to Hope's face. "You're not the only one who's been hurt here," she spoke quietly. "I have too and Caelyn."

"I know. I know." Hope nodded. "But surely we can work past this all? The three of us together. I don't want to lose you all over again. Please, Maura." Her voice was a quiet plea.

"Okay," Maura whispered. "Okay."

* * *

Hope and Maura had been talking for well over an hour when they heard the front door open and Jane walk in. For the most part they had talked about Hope and her life. Hope had seemed to sense that there was no use in pushing Maura and so opened up about herself first, letting the doctor feel at ease in the situation.

"Hey, I bought some Chinese." Jane's voice floated into the living room as she made her way into the kitchen and dumped the bag of Chinese food on the kitchen island. "God, I'm absolutely starved. Korsak has started this new diet today and the crap he had for lunch just looked so bad I couldn't eat my lunch." Jane continued on with her ramble as Maura stood up and made her way over, placing her hand on the brunette's arm. Jane stopped unpacking the food at the touch and turned to give her fiancé a tender kiss. "Hey." Jane smiled happily before she pulled the final carton of Chinese food out of the bag. "Viola."

"Jane," Maura started carefully, "Hope is here." Jane instantly stopped what she was doing and spun around to see the older woman stood in their living room.

"Hello, Jane." Hope stood from the chair and smiled softly, hiding the shock she felt at finding out who Maura was going to marry. "It's nice to see you again."

"Yeah," Jane replied in a not so friendly manner before she turned to face Maura. "What's she doing here?" she hissed quietly. "You haven't seen her in over a year? Have you?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously at the blonde.

"I should go and leave you two alone." Hope motioned towards the front door before she picked her purse up and headed towards the threshold of the room. "I've really enjoyed today, Maura."

"Why don't we meet for lunch tomorrow?" The younger blonde suggested and stepped towards the older woman. "Say one?"

"That sounds lovely." Hope smiled widely. "I'll meet you at the morgue. See you tomorrow. Bye, Jane." With that she turned and left the pair alone.

"What the hell?" Jane stared at the blonde. "You've just let her walk back into your life after the hurt she caused you?"

"Jane, calm down." Maura held her hands up as she walked towards Jane. "She just wants to talk. She's changed. She's had time to think it all through. I realise now that it was a lot for her to take in. Caelyn was ill and she had spent most of her life believing I was dead. Imagine how she must have felt when I told her exactly who I am."

Jane snorted. "That's bull and you know it. She hasn't changed. People like her _don't_ change, Maura. She's after something. Why else would she reappear in your life well over a year later? Hmm? Bet you didn't think about that." She turned to the cartons of food and began to open them.

"She's not after anything." Maura couldn't believe what Jane was implying. Hope had only come to talk to her estranged daughter. She wasn't after anything. "She only wants to know who I am, what my life has been like."

"Bull. She wants something you mark my words." Jane pointed her finger in Maura's direction before she walked around the kitchen island and pulled open the cupboard to retrieve two plates. "I can't believe you just let her back in so easily. Don't you remember how hurt you were after she refused to believe who you are?"

Maura felt her body tense at her fiancé's words. "She's my _mother_, Jane. Do you just want me to refuse to talk or see her like she did to me?" She could feel the anger that was beginning to bubble inside of her.

"You _have_ a mother, Constance, remember her? You have my mother too. You don't need Hope. She hasn't been there for you. God, Maura, have naïve can you be?" Jane shook her head in disbelief as she began to pile food onto each plate.

"Hope is my birth mother. I have a bond with her."

"Bull," Jane repeated. "You have nothing with her. She already has a daughter and you have a family. You owe her nothing, Maura. _Nothing_. She walked away from you. She's lost any right to be in your life. You're a fool to let her back and you know that you just can't say no."

Maura's whole body tensed and she straightened up, her chin held high. "You don't understand the situation, Jane." Her voice was quiet and stern. "You'll never understand when you have your family there for you whether you want it or not. I didn't grow up like you, knowing everyone I'm related to."

Jane scoffed again and shook her head. "I forgot. We're from two very different worlds, aren't we?" She looked at Maura before she grabbed Jo Friday's leash. "Come on, Jo Friday, let's go for a walk." Without a glance back she walked out the front door leaving Maura alone to let Jane's words settle in.

* * *

Jane ran a frustrated hand through her unruly hair as she walked Jo Friday in the field near the house. She knew she had overreacted in there about Hope but she didn't trust the woman. Jane had been the one Maura called after Hope had refused to believe Maura. Jane had been the one to hold Maura as she cried. Jane had seen the hurt Hope had caused and she had helped to ease that hurt. She didn't want to see Maura like that again. Maura deserved better than what Hope was offering. Maura deserved the world in Jane's eyes.

"I'm a dick, aren't I, Jo Friday?" Jane looked down at the dog at her feet who only tilted her head in response. She sighed and looked ahead of her as the let the cool night air calm her anger and protectiveness over Maura. She'd make it up to Maura tomorrow. Tonight things were still too raw between them.

When Jane got back to the house an hour later she found it in darkness with Maura already in bed. The brunette gave another sigh and pulled her dinner from the fridge and warmed it up before she sat alone at the kitchen island and ate. Once she had showered and changed for bed, she took a few moments to study Maura's sleeping form before she crawled into bed next to her and closed her eyes, willing sleep to overtake her body.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Tbh, I'm still not completely happy with this story but people have shown interest so I shall continue to update it. I'm thinking I should probably stick to one-shots. Anyway, enjoy.

* * *

Jane gave a yawn and slowly stretched her body out before she rolled onto her side and reached her arm out to cuddle Maura in close for the last few minutes before it was time to get up. Instead of her arm colliding with a soft, warm body, it collided with a cold empty side of the bed. Jane frowned and pushed herself up onto her elbows as she looked around the room for traces of the blonde but there was none. The door to the adjoining bathroom was slightly ajar which meant that no one was in there. With a sigh the brunette pushed herself into a sitting position and ran her hands over her face just as Jo Friday ran into the room and gave a small bark.

"What is it buddy?" Jane turned her head and looked down at the dog who just turned her back and ran out of the room. "Even the dog is against me," she mumbled as she kicked the covers off and made her way into the bathroom for a shower.

Maura was nowhere else to do be found in the house and when Jane glanced at the driveway mid bite of her toast she saw that Maura's car was gone. This fact caused a frustrated sigh from the brunette as she finished her toast and fed the crusts to Jo Friday who lay waiting patiently. They had had arguments before but this one seemed different to all the rest. Jane just hoped she could make it better again.

* * *

Maura parked her car in the car park of the precinct and killed the engine, letting silence surround her. She leaned back in her seat and took a deep breath to calm herself. The fight with Jane had rattled her. It wasn't their first fight but this one seemed to stem deep. Maura had supported Jane in all her decisions so why wouldn't Jane support her on this? She wasn't asking for much. She only wanted to get to know the woman who had given birth to her.

With a sigh Maura opened her car door and stepped out. She needed to distract herself from thoughts of her fight with Jane. The best way for her to do that was to busy herself with work until her lunch with Hope.

"Morning," Maura greeted Angela as she walked into the café for her morning cup of coffee.

"Morning." Angela smiled and glanced over the blonde's shoulder. "No Jane?"

"I didn't want to wake her." Maura's smile wavered a little bit as the older woman poured her coffee.

Angela nodded. "She's been working so hard lately. She should take some time off. Both of you should and have some quality time together. You could get away for a weekend." She smiled up at the younger woman pleased with the idea she had come up with. "Be sure to mention it to Jane. She'll listen to you. You're the only one she listens to." Angela handed Maura her cup of coffee.

"Thank you." Maura gave a tight smile before she made her way towards the elevators to reach the morgue. Angela meant well but she needed to keep her nose out of other people's business most of the time. Especially out of her and Jane's

Maura was thankful for the solitude of the morgue. It cleared her head. She placed her coffee cup down on her desk before she slid into her chair with a soft sigh. As she sat down the photo of her and Jane that she kept on her desk caught her eye. She reached out and picked it up, leaning back in her chair as she gently touched the glass. They had been at a Rizzoli family barbeque, one that didn't come without drama. Jane had pulled Maura to sit on her lap so Maura had wrapped her arms around Jane's neck as they gazed at each other lovingly. Angela had spent most of the barbeque snapping photos and had snapped the two of them together, wanting to preserve the moment. Maura had fallen in love instantly and decided it was what she wanted on her desk. Every time she looked at it she felt full of love and happiness but today, today she felt sad. The one person she thought she could always count on refused to give her support in something very important to Maura.

She placed the photo back in its place and shook her head, clearing any negative thoughts. She didn't want to spend the day dwelling.

* * *

"Jane!" Angela called from the café as she saw her daughter's head of wild curls walk into the building. "Jane! Don't ignore your mother."

Jane hesitated about whether she should listen to her mother or just ignore her. She decided it would be for the better if she listened. "Hey, ma." She plastered a smile on her face and walked into the café. "Have you seen Maura this morning?"

"She's already been in to get a coffee. She said you were still sleeping. You're working too hard. You should take some time off. Spend it with Maura."

Jane refrained from rolling her eyes at her mother. "I'll think about it," she replied instead. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Angela nodded. "Take it easy."

Jane mumbled a response and made her way towards the elevators. She jobbed the down button just as her phone buzzed with a murder. "Damn it," she cursed and looked up to see Frost getting off the elevator. "Let's go." She would have to wait to talk to Maura.

* * *

Maura sat with Hope in a corner booth in an Italian restaurant not far from the precinct. They had made small talk on the way and while they decided what to order. It wasn't until after the waiter had taken their food did their conversations grow deeper.

"So," Hope began steadily, "you're with Jane?" She took a small sip of her water to make it look like a casual question. She did, as Maura's mother, have a right to know.

"I'm engaged to Jane," Maura corrected.

Hope gave a small nod and placed her glass down. "How long have you been together?"

"A year." Maura smiled softly and looked down at her engagement ring. "Jane proposed two months ago."

Hope leaned back in her chair and studied the younger woman quietly for a few moments. "Are you sure you're not rushing things?" Maura tensed and looked up at Hope. "I mean, you were together ten months before you were engaged. By the time you get married you'll only have been together two years. That's not a very long time, Maura."

"We want to be together," Maura replied, her body growing tenser with every word Hope uttered.

"You're still young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Are you _really_ sure you want to spend the rest of your life with her?" Hope leaned her arms on the table and studied Maura's face. "Are you sure you want to spend it with a woman? Having a family will be harder with her. Is Jane even a family type of person? You need to think about this, Maura. It's a huge commitment that you're going to take. You have to be absolutely sure that it's what you want, what makes you happy. The partner you choose is the person who is going to be by your side your whole life. You're going to support them and they're going to support you. You need to think about this carefully."

Maura froze as Hope's words sank in. _Support_. That was something Jane wasn't giving her on this subject. Jane wasn't making her happy at that moment. They had been happy up until that moment, hadn't they? They would be happy again, wouldn't they? Doubts slowly began to seep into Maura's mind. She never hid her history with women. Some of it had been experimental, some had been out of want, either way Maura had been completely honest with Jane. It wasn't something Maura could say about Jane and her history. Jane hadn't mentioned once of being with another woman so Maura couldn't be sure if she was the first or not. She began to wonder if their relationship was just something experimental to Jane or if it was because it was easy for Jane.

"I love Jane," Maura spoke quietly. "She loves me."

"Love isn't enough, Maura. A relationship needs more. A lot more, especially a marriage. Just because Jane loves you doesn't mean she won't hurt you. It also doesn't mean that you two are meant to be and are happy."

"I think I've heard enough." Maura began to gather her things and stood from the table. "I didn't suggest lunch so I could sit and listen to you tell me what I feel and who I should be with. This is _my_ life. A life I have lived without you. This is my decision. Mine and Jane's. Not yours. I love Jane and we're going to get married whether you like it or not. I'd appreciate it if you didn't contact me again. Goodbye, Hope." Maura spun on her heel and left the restaurant. Unfortunately, Hope's words had already created doubts about her and Jane's relationship.

* * *

By the time Jane arrived home that night she hadn't seen Maura all day. She had called down to the morgue a few times but her search for the blonde had been unsuccessful. She felt terrible about their argument and she wanted to clear the air. Jane gave a sigh as she made her way over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. As she made her way over the couch she pulled out her phone and dialled Maura's number. Instead of the blonde answering as Jane had hoped it went straight to voicemail.

"Hey, hun, I've been looking for you all day. I feel like an ass about last night. Can we just talk? I'm at home waiting for you." With a sigh she hung up and threw her phone onto the coffee table, taking a swig of her beer.

* * *

As Maura pulled up onto the drive that night she could see only a dim light on in the living room. Jane was still awake and waiting for her. Maura gave a sigh and leaned back against her seat. She knew she would have to face it but she wasn't sure she was ready for that yet. However, if she stayed in her car then Angela would be sure to see her and pick up that something was wrong.

Maura was greeted with the low murmur of the TV as she entered the house. She quietly made her way into the living room to see Jane sprawled out over the couch asleep, empty beer bottles on the table. She instantly breathed a sigh of relief at seeing Jane asleep. Jo Friday who had been curled up asleep on Jane's stomach wagged her tail and jumped down onto the floor to greet Maura. The blonde pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around Jane's sleeping form.

Just as Maura tucked the blanket in around Jane's shoulder she began to stir, turning her head towards the blonde. "Maura," she murmured.

"Shh, go back to sleep," the blonde whispered in reply.

"I love you." Jane buried her face into the cushion and drifted back off to sleep. The statement made Maura smiled softly before she leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on Jane's forehead.

"Night, Jane," she whispered and turned towards the bedroom. She took her phone out of her handbag and sat down on her side of the bed as she searched the internet for what she wanted. It didn't take her long to find it. Once she had done that she placed a quick call, keeping her voice quiet before she changed and got into bed, willing her mind to be silent, just for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Jane awoke the next morning to the sounds of pans being banged together in the kitchen. Groaning and clutching her pounding head, she pulled herself into a sitting position on the couch and turned her head to see Maura in the kitchen.

"Must you do that so loud?" Jane whined and ran her hands over her tired eyes.

"It's only loud because you're hung over," Maura simply replied, not looking at her fiancé. She continued to put away what she had used to make herself breakfast. "There's aspirin on the table."

Jane turned her head to see a glass of water and aspirin already on the table for her. She swallowed the aspirin, washing it down with some water, pulling a face at the same time. Another groan left her lips as she leaned against the back of the couch and turned her head to watch Maura.

Maura could feel Jane's eyes watching her and she stilled her movement, looking up. "I'm going away for a few days." She kept her voice steady, already feeling the tears burning in her throat.

"What?" Jane's face fell and she sat up straighter. "You're going away?"

Maura nodded. "I'm going to spend a few days with my parents in France. My plane leaves in a few hours."

"I don't understand, Maura." Jane got up from the couch and made her way into the kitchen. "You're going away? Why? I don't understand."

Maura avoided the brunette's eyes as she wiped her hands on a towel and neatly hung it back on the oven handle. "I'll be back in a few days. I have to go." Without looking at her fiancé Maura turned and made her way into the hallway. She had already put her bags in the car. She had planned to leave before Jane woke up so she could avoid the whole situation but that hadn't happened.

"I don't understand," Jane repeated as she followed the blonde. "Why are you going? Maura, talk to me!" she began to yell as the smaller woman showed no signs of stopping. "Please," she begged as the tears began to well in her eyes.

"Bye, Jane," Maura whispered as she fought to keep her own tears at bay. She needed time alone to clear her head and think things through. She needed some time alone. Quickly the blonde made her way out of the house and to her car.

Jane stared at the door that Maura had just left through for a few moments before she dashed out, just to see Maura pulling out of their drive. "Maura!" she yelled, the tears already cascading down her cheeks. "Maura," she repeated quieter this time.

* * *

On the drive to the airport and all the way through the airport, Maura kept her emotions in check. In fact, she felt numb the whole time. It wasn't until the plane had taken off and she had nothing to occupy her mind did her tears fall. They fell hard and fast, racking through her body, causing her to gasp for breath. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping to ease her tears and turned towards the window so no one would see her break down.

A pain that she had never experienced before gripped at her heart. She knew that it was impossible for her heart to break but in that moment that's exactly how it felt. Maura couldn't even bring herself to look at Jane's face as she pulled out of their driveway. She knew that if she had she'd stay instantly but she needed the time to clear her head. Hope's words had stung deeper than Maura had wished for them to. They had burrowed deep and set up camp in her heart. They caused doubts to serge through her body, affecting everything she thought and did.

Maura knew now that Jane had been right. Hope would only cause hurt. This time the hurt had been inflicted in a very different way. This time the hurt went deeper. Suddenly Maura wished that Hope had rejected her again instead. That was a hurt she could deal with. That was a hurt that Jane could heal for her. She would rather live with that hurt because she knew she had Jane and her family there for her. Now, now she was afraid that she wouldn't have them anymore.

She placed a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob and squeezed her eyes shut even tighter. Her body curled into a ball towards the window and all she could think about was how pained Jane's voice sounded after Maura had told her she was going away for a few days but wouldn't elaborate. She had sensed the hurt she had caused before she had even finished speaking.

"Oh, Jane," Maura whispered, wishing that she would just feel numb again. The situation was a whole lot worse than either of them wanted it to be.

* * *

By the time Maura arrived at her parents' house in France it was nearly eleven that night. Even though it was still only five in Boston, she felt completely drained, both physically and emotionally. She had spent most of the flight sobbing. It wasn't until it was announced that they were about to land did she pull herself together. She then cleared her face in the airport bathroom before heading towards her parents. She didn't need them to know the mess she was in.

"Maura, honey." Constance opened the door and smiled warmly at her daughter before her smile faltered. "What's wrong? Has something happened?"

Maura let her shoulders sag as she stepped into the hallway. "I just want to take a bath and go to sleep." Constance opened her mouth to argue but instead chose to leave it considering her daughter's fragile state. Instead she quietly watched Maura retreat up the stairs and into her bedroom. Constance knew that something was wrong with Maura but she just couldn't put her finger on what. She would have to wait until the morning to find out.

* * *

_Maura stood in a field of grass so long that it tickled the tips of her fingers as her arms hung at her sides. She felt a pain in her hand and looked down to see her engagement ring slowly disappearing into her finger. She gasped and tried to pry it off but it sunk fully into her finger before she could get it._

_A voice made Maura's head snap up and look at the person stood in front of her. "Hope?" she questioned. "What are you doing here? Why are you here?" As she lifted a foot to take a step closer she heard a noise to her left. Turning her head she saw Jane stood there with no expression on her face. Her eyes were just shells. "Jane?" she whispered._

"_I only want you to have the best, Maura," Hope spoke softly, her body still._

"_I don't understand." The blonde frowned and turned her head back to Jane to see her walk towards Hope, taking hold of her hand. "Jane," Maura called out. "Jane, what are you doing?" Without saying a word and still holding hands, Jane and Hope turned their backs to Maura and began to walk away. "Jane!" Maura yelled and tried to run after them but found she could not move. When she looked down she could see that the long grass had begun to wrap around her legs, rooting her to the spot. She let out a scream and clawed at the grass, wanting to get to Jane._

_Suddenly Hope and Jane stopped walking and stood still, staring ahead of them. They let go of each other's hands and Hope turned to face her daughter. "This is for the best, Maura. This is how your life should be." In one quick motion Hope had turned back to Jane and pushed her over the cliff edge._

"_JANE!" Maura screamed and scrambled forward, the grass unravelling itself. Just as she got near to Hope, she tripped and when she looked up she was at the bottom of the cliff on her hands and knees, with Hope looking down on her. Maura looked around her but Jane was nowhere to be seen, causing another scream to leave her lips._

* * *

Maura sat bolt right up in bed. Her breathing was heavy, her body soaked in sweat and tears were streaming down her face. She glanced around the room to get her bearings and slowly began to calm down.

Jane.

She needed to hear Jane's voice. She needed to know that she was okay. Maura scrambled out of bed and towards the house phone. She punched in the right numbers so that Jane would not be able to see who was calling and listened to the dialling tone. Maura pleaded for her partner to pick up the phone. She just needed to hear her voice.

"_Hello?"_ Jane's cranky voice floated down the line and Maura breathed a sigh of relief. _"Hello?"_ Jane repeated when no one answered. _"Hello? God damn it!"_ Maura could hear Jane cursing as she hung up. Jane was fine. With a shaky hand Maura replaced the receiver and made her way back to bed. It had just been a dream. That was all. Nothing more.

"Oh, Jane," Maura whispered and looked up at the ceiling as she lay in bed. "What have I done?" She squeezed her eyes shut as a fresh batch of tears began. In an attempt to quieten her sobs, she rolled onto her side, curled into a ball and buried her face into her pillow.

* * *

A/N: I expect you all hate me now. I expect it. Don't panic though. Things will resolve. I also hope you liked the dream. :)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Things have to get worse before they get better, that's all I'm going to say. There is also only one more chapter after this one.

* * *

Constance was sat at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee as Maua made her way down to breakfast the next morning. In one quick glance Constance could see the pain in her daughter's face. Maura's expression also confirmed what Constance suspected; her daughter had not gotten a good night's sleep, if she had slept at all.

"Good morning." Constance smiled softly as Maura sat down. "I thought you'd like some blueberry pancakes." She motioned to the plate in front of her daughter.

"Thank you." Maura gave a small smile before she began to eat.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Constance asked gently. "And before you protest, I can see there is something wrong in your eyes. I also heard you last night."

"Oh," Maura whispered and looked down at her hands, specifically at her engagement ring. The dream suddenly came flooding back to her in that moment and she had to swallow the lump that had once again formed in her throat. She had never cried so much in her life.

"So," Constance prompted her daughter gently. Before they would never have talked about what was troubling Maura but after Constance had met Jane and she had made Constance realise that she needed to be more involved in Maura's life she had made more of an effort. When Maura had announced that she and Jane were together, Constance was surprised but then she saw just how much they meant to each other and how happy they were. It didn't take her long to wrap her head around the idea and she was glad that her daughter had someone to look out for her. Jane had the balls to bust anyone who hurt Maura, even Maura's own parents.

"Hope came to the house the other day," Maura spoke quietly and kept her gaze on her ring. Constance knew everything about the Hope situation so she gave a silent nod as Maura explained everything that had happened. Once she had finished they sat in silence for a few minutes.

"How do you feel about your relationship with Jane?" Constance's voice was quiet and soft, afraid her daughter was about to break.

"I love her," Maura whispered. "I want to spend my life with her. I want everything with her. I just feel so confused right now."

Constance gave a small nod. "Why don't we go shopping today? Clear your head a bit. It sounds like you're both hurt right now and need some time."

"Okay." Maura took a deep breath and lifted her head. "You're probably right."

* * *

Jane sat at her desk in the prescient and stared at her open emails on her computer. A pen sat poised tightly between her teeth as she stared, not seeing, at her screen. Frost and Korsak had picked up on the tense vibe Jane was giving off as soon as she walked into the building that morning. She had been a worse bitch than normal and both men were afraid to cross her. They had also realised that Maura was not in work which probably had something to do with Jane's mood. They had a silent debate about who should ask the question neither wanted to ask. Although, they could have verbalised their debate as Jane was hearing nothing that was going on around her.

"So," Frost cleared his throat, having lost the debate. "Where's Dr Isles today?"

The question pulled Jane out of her trance and she looked up at her partner with a confused expression before his words settled in. "France," she replied dully and turned her expression back to her screen. Frost scratched the back of his head before he looked at Korsak and gave a shrug.

"So, uh, you didn't go?" Korsak tried, keeping his voice light.

"Visiting her parents," Jane mumbled and pulled out her phone. She unlocked it to reveal a photo of her and Maura smiling at the camera. Maura refused to pose for a photo for Jane's background. She didn't want the photo to be of just her. It didn't take much convincing for Jane to get in the photo as well. With a sigh she began to type out a text message to the blonde.

'_Maura, please, call me xx'_

Jane ran a frustrated hand through her unruly curls and closed her emails before she stood from her chair and let the room.

* * *

Maura paused on the street and studied the dresses in the window of the shop her and Constance had just passed. The dresses were beautiful. Constance always knew the best places to shop. Maura tilted her head at a purple dress and began to wonder what Jane would look like in that dress. She knew that Jane rarely wore dresses unless Maura bribed her but she couldn't help the urge she had to buy that dress for Jane.

"That dress would suit you," a husky voice spoke from behind her. Maura's body froze as she recognised the voice and she spun around to come face to face with Ian. She hadn't seen him in years. At one point she had believed that he was the love of her life, now she knew better. She may have loved Ian but she was never in love with him like she was with Jane. It was merely just attraction she had ever felt towards him and now they would be nothing more than friends.

"Do I not even get a hug?" He smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Ian, hi." She smiled softly and gave him a brief hug. "What are you doing in France?"

He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and gave a shrug. "This and that," he replied. "I haven't heard from you in a while." He gazed at her intently which caused her to shift on the spot.

"A lot has happened."

Ian nodded and was silent for a few moments before he spoke again. "Why don't we have dinner tonight? My treat."

"Oh, I don't know." She shook her head. "I really shouldn't."

"Just a dinner between two old friends who are catching up. Come on. You can choose." He nudged her arm and smiled. "Who knows when we'll next meet?"

Maura chewed on her bottom lip as she pondered the idea. She still classed him as a friend. There was nothing wrong with having dinner with a friend. "Okay."

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven." Ian smiled happily to himself before he walked off.

* * *

Jane slammed the front door closed and slumped into the kitchen where she grabbed a beer from the fridge before making her way to the couch. She turned the TV to the baseball game, kicked her boots off and propped her feet up on the coffee table and took a swig of her beer. Jo Friday jumped up onto the couch next to her and curled into her thigh. Jane tickled behind the dog's ear as she reached for her phone and scrolled through her contacts. She didn't need to scroll through her contacts as she had Maura on speed dial but it kept her hands busy. Jane held the phone against her ear and listened for the dialling tone, expecting to hear Maura's voice mail but instead someone answered. Jane sat up straight in shock and was just about to start talking when she heard the voice on the other end of the line.

"_Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?"_ It was a man's voice. Not Maura. A man. A man was answering Maura's phone. And what was that she could hear in the background? Was that music? _"Hello?"_ the man asked again but Jane hung up, not wanting to hear anymore. She felt the lump bubble in her throat and the anger surge through her body. Maura was with a guy and that guy was answering her phone. Is that the reason she went to France or was that just a perk of the trip? A guy was answering Maura's phone. A _guy_. Jane wasn't sure if the situation would be better if it was another woman but a guy? Suddenly she stood up, scaring Jo Friday in the process before she began to pace around the room, her hand running through her hair as the tears built in her eyes.

"Is this why she went? Is he the reason she won't answer my phone calls? Or is she too busy with him to answer?" She let out a strangled noise as the tears began to stream down her face. "Why is she doing this to me?" she yelled and wiped at her face with the back of her arms. "She's with a guy," she whispered and slid down the wall where she crumpled into a sobbing ball on the floor.

Angela found her daughter ten minutes later and she knew things were bad when instead of pulling away from the hug Angela offered, Jane cuddled in close to her mother as she sobbed. The older woman had no clue what was wrong but knew that her daughter was in too much of a fragile state to answer any questions. Instead Angela stroked her daughter's hair and kissed her forehead, murmuring words of comfort. It wasn't until nearly an hour later when Jane uttered the words behind the reason for her state.

"Maura's with a guy."

* * *

Maura smiled at Ian as she made her way back to their table from the bathroom. She slid into her seat before she took a sip of her wine.

"Your phone rang," he pushed her phone towards her, "someone called Jane. No one replied when I answered."

Maura's face fell at his words. Jane had called and Ian had answered. She could only imagine what was going through Jane's head at that moment. Jane may act confident all the time but Maura knew the truth. Deep down Jane was insecure, especially when it came to her relationship with Maura. She still believed that she wasn't good enough or beautiful enough for Maura. Maura had always made sure that she showed Jane that she was beautiful and that she did deserved Maura but she knew that by Ian answering her phone, Jane would let those insecurities curse through her body, clouding her mind. Their situation at the time also would not help things.

"I have to go." She grabbed her phone and her purse as she quickly stood up. "I have to go," she repeated.

"Wait, where are you going? What's wrong?" Ian frowned as he stood as well.

"You answered the phone to Jane. You answered the phone to Jane and now she's going to think we're together. Thank you for dinner." Maura shook her head before she rushed out of the restaurant and hailed a cab.

* * *

Constance was surprised to see her daughter burst through the front door and run up the stairs to her room. Her face looked panicked. Constance had never seen her daughter like that before. She put her book down on the side table before she followed Maura to her room. When she stepped into her daughter's room she was even more surprised to see Maura flinging her clothes into her suitcase without bothering to fold them.

"Maura, what's wrong, darling?" Constance moved further into the room and watched her daughter unsure of what to do.

"I have to get home to Jane. Ian answered my phone and now Jane is going to think the worst. She's going to think I don't love her and want to be with her but I do. I really do." She tried to pull open a drawer but in her haste managed to get it stuck. She let out a cry and yanked it hard so she stumbled backwards. Constance instantly placed her hands on Maura's shoulders and tried to calm her down.

"You can't go home in this state. You need to calm down. Have you tried calling her back?"

Maura nodded and took a deep breath. "She's turned her phone off and she won't answer the house phone. This is my entire fault." She turned to face her mother with tears in her eyes. "I should have listened to her. I shouldn't have left. Oh my god I'm such an idiot. I can't lose her. I just can't," she whispered and closed her eyes, giving Constance the chance to hug her daughter close.

"You won't if you two love each other as much as I think you do, you will work through this. No relationship is easy. Everyone has their ups and downs. This is just one of your downs. You will get through this. Calm down, I'll help you pack and then we'll get you on the first flight home, okay?" Constance gently held onto the top of Maura's arms and smiled softly. Maura gave a nod and turned back to her suitcase. She needed to get home to Jane.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Last chapter, guys. I warn you now, I'm not good with the whole admitting your feelings thing so it's hard for me to write these two admitting how they feel. I'm also very stubborn and if left to it, Jane would not be talking to Maura for quite a while. However, I am also a sucker for Rizzles so this came out. I hope you've all enjoyed this short story. :)

* * *

By the time Maura had finished packing, made her way to the airport, booked herself onto a flight, landed and pulled into her driveway it was ten am. She pulled the car to a quick stop, killed the engine and practically jumped out of the car. She gave a startled step back towards as Angela stood up from where she had been crouched on the grass, gardening.

"Where's Jane?" Maura asked quickly.

"She's really upset, Maura. She's hurt. I've never seen her like this." Angela loved Maura and thought of her like a daughter but she still had to protect Jane. "She spent the whole night crying. No, she was _sobbing_. My Jane was actually sobbing. I don't think anyone has ever meant as much to her as you do."

"Please, where is she?" Maura pleaded and stepped closer to the older woman who gave a sigh.

"I don't know if she'll see you. She's in the guest room. She refused to spend the night in your room."

Maura gave a quick nod before she darted into the house and towards the guest room. She paused outside of the door as she heard the small sniffles coming from inside. Her heart broke at the sounds and she pushed the door open, taking a step inside.

"Please, Ma, I just want to be alone." Jane's voice was quiet and broken. Maura had never heard her fiancé like this. Jane was lying on her side, curled up into a ball with her back towards the door. "Please," she whispered and gave another sniffle.

Maura closed the door behind her and sat down on the bed, gently placing her hand on Jane's arm. Jane turned her head at the contact and was surprised to see Maura sat there. She blinked a few times to ensure that she wasn't seeing things before she fully rolled onto her back and looked up into the blonde's face.

"I'm sorry, Jane," Maura whispered. "I shouldn't have taken off like that. I should have stayed and talked to you. You were right about Hope. The lunch I had with her was horrible. We never reached the food. She told me that we shouldn't be together. She said so much stuff that made me start to doubt things and I got scared. I didn't know what to do. I thought going to France would help, but it didn't." Gently she gave Jane's arm a squeeze.

Jane shook her head and sat up, shaking out of Maura's grasp. "You walked away, Maura. We had a fight and you walked away. I kept calling you and you refused to answer. Then when I did manage to get through to you a guy answered. A _guy_, Maura." The hurt was evident in Jane's eyes and she had to look away to keep herself from crying again. Her eyes were still red and puffy from her earlier bout of tears. "If you don't want to be with me just say."

"I _do_ want to be with you!" Maura grabbed hold of Jane's hands and held on tightly. "I love you, Jane. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I was having dinner with Ian. We were catching up. We're just friends, Jane. I would never cheat on you."

Jane shook her head again as she felt a tear slide down her cheek and she bit down on her bottom lip to keep in her sobs. "I have never felt like this about anyone else. I've always told you everything. I've never hid anything from you. I never had any thoughts about marriage or having a family until I met you. You changed all of that. I just…" she trailed off and took a deep breath. Maura took the opportunity to cup Jane's face and kiss her tenderly.

"I got scared," she whispered. "I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you so much, Jane."

"What exactly did she say to you to make you run?"

"She asked if we were rushing thing by getting married. She said that it'll be hard for us to have a family and that love isn't enough. She told me that just because you love me doesn't mean you won't hurt me." Maura looked down in shame at their hands that were still entwined. Hearing the words from her own mouth she realised just how stupid she had been.

"I love you, Maura. I'm _in_ love with you and I will always love you no matter what but you taking off and then letting Ian answer your phone really hurt me. I was ready to grovel to you and make things right for what I said in our argument but you just took off. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?" Jane pulled her hands back from Maura's and wrapped them around her legs that she had pulled up to her chest.

"I'm so sorry, Jane," Maura whispered and looked up at the brunette. "Nothing I say will ever make up for that. Nothing I do with make up for that but I'm going to try."

Jane gave a sigh and ran a hand through her hair. "You can't run away again. When we fight you can't run away. You can go to a yoga class or go for a walk but you _have_ to come back and then talk it out with me. We need to start talking about these things to each other. We can't just bottle it up and hope everything will be alright."

Maura nodded and placed a hand on Jane's knee. "Can I ask you something?" she asked softly. Jane looked at her partner and let her ask. "Why have you never told me about your history with women?"

Jane let out a small laugh. "Because I don't have a history with women. It never went further than making out and feeling each other up. I never felt comfortable with any of them to. It wasn't until I met you. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think that this was just some experiment for me because it's not. This is the real thing for me. I want to marry you and in a few years I want us to have a baby."

"I want that too," Maura spoke softly and smiled. "These past few days have made me realise just how much I want that."

"Lousy way to make you realise it," Jane mumbled and glanced down.

"I'm so sorry, Jane." She gave Jane's knee a gentle squeeze before she shifted on the bed so that their thighs touch as they sat close. "I love you so much. You are the only one I want." Tenderly she reached out and tucked some hair behind Jane's ear. Jane turned her head and leaned her cheek into Maura's palm as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Shh, baby, please, don't cry."

"You promise you won't run away again?" the brunette asked in a small voice. "You promise you'll always come back?"

"I promise you, no matter what I'll come back to you. Always."

"Thank you," Jane whispered before she leaned in for a kiss.

"Do you want to take a bath? Then we could take a nap. I'm exhausted and you don't look like you got much sleep either." Maura smiled softly and cupped Jane's face.

"Sure. Just let me get rid of Ma first. She's been hovering since last night." Jane smiled and stood from the bed, stretching her body out. "Run the bath. I'll be in in a minute." Maura kissed her fiancé one last time before she disappeared into their bathroom and Jane went to find Angela. They both felt good. Things would be just fine for them.


End file.
